Best Funny Quotes Life And Funny Sayings pictures “When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.” #1. “If you’re not having a good time, find something else that gives you some joy in life.” – Penny Marshall. But so is thunder and lightning.” —Clint Eastwood. Here are a few quotes by the well-regarded leader. “Today was good. Some of these are funny travel quotes from movies, others are more quotes for your travel friends. Funny Quotes About Life's Ups and Downs. I'll go shoot me some Time to keep! Pay day, lunch time, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and … These funny quotes about getting older and quotes about aging should serve as inspiration for enjoying this remarkable time of life. All of them are awesome. Charles Schultz. ‘Just not these four. Monogamy is the same.” —Anonymous, Following an argument, an angry Lady Astor told Winston Churchill, “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Churchill snapped, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”, When Mick Jagger insisted that his wrinkles were actually laugh lines, jazz singer George Melly replied, “Surely nothing could be that funny.”, A sports columnist recalled the story of a flight attendant who asked Muhammad Ali to fasten his seat belt. That leaves no other time. There are really two ways of going about it - you can either sit moping about how unfair and unyielding life is, and how the greater cause does not make sense to you, or you can take everything in with a pinch of salt (along with some tequila and a lime wedge, if you will), have a few laughs, and carry on, smiling at the weirdness of it all. And they have. Where are you, you little rascal? So, enjoy! These are the funniest lies parents have told their kids. Burton responded, “Everyone knows I never read comics.” Smith shot back, “That explains Batman.”. “According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Anonymous. If you’re also a technophobe you’ll think these tech cartoons are hilarious. Discover and share Funny Quotes About Time Passing. J. O’Rourke, writer, “The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work, and then they get elected and prove it.” —P. 2. Go to table of contents. I find more of their meaning even the second or the third time I read them. Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. These funny gum quotes will keep you laughing while you’re creating a better you! Motivational and inspirational quotes […] But you can wind it up again. “Life is too short to not go on that spontaneous road trip.” – Author Unknown. We spend so much time worrying about how the future is going to play out and not nearly enough time admiring the precious perfection of the present.” – Lauren Miller Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. Check out these funny work cartoons. Then by all means follow that path.” —Ellen DeGeneres. “I recently asked a student where his homework was. 20. In the 1960s, Joe Pyne, one of the original shock jocks, apparently began an interview with Frank Zappa by saying, “So I guess your long hair makes you a woman.” Zappa responded, “So I guess your wooden leg makes you a table.”, Katharine Hepburn so hated filming a movie with John Barrymore, she declared, “Mr. Time! Well, they think it was a virus, but it could also be malaria, kidney failure, a heart murmur, gallstones, or possibly appendicitis.” —Crystal Lowery, “If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.” —Reese Witherspoon. These are some of the cutest mistakes that kids have made. Topics. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”―Mindy Kaling. Trust us, you need these funny pictures of animals in your life. Sarah Palin Jokes. “Filling out a credit card application, my friend came upon this question: ‘What is your source of income?’ She wrote: ‘ATM. Never waste any time you can spend sleeping. The good news is you’re the pilot. Of course! '” —Emilia Clarke, “‘I don’t want a whole dessert; let’s just get two spoons.’ —Former friends of mine.” —Anna Kendrick. He even won a Nobel Prize in Literature for his speechmaking (1953). But if you’re laughing for no reason, you may need medicine.” Funny Quotes and Sayings impressive funny quotes #3. When a fan asked Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart for tips on writing symphonies, the composer is said to have suggested, “Begin with some simple lieder and work your way up to a symphony.” “But Herr Mozart,” replied the fan, “you were writing symphonies when you were eight.” “Yes,” said Mozart. If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level. Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. I love deadlines. There is a time for work and a time for love. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. Funny Motivational Quotes to Inspire You. Explore 73 Time Travel Quotes by authors including Stephen Hawking, Katherine Jenkins, and James Altucher at BrainyQuote. The 57 All Time Best Funny Quotes And Sayings December 30, 2015 2 Comments Whenver you stuck in a situation of what to do or what not to do, these funny quotes and syings will help you to deal with the situations like nothing ever happened. If you love these hilarious quotes, then all cat owners will appreciate these hilarious cat cartoons. See more ideas about funny quotes, quotes, funny. 19. Check them out below, courtesy of Search Quotes and Today in Sci. Today was fun. Next, here’s a list of funny words to say to confuse your friends. 1. For this reason, we’ve created a hand-picked selection of funny friendship quotes that celebrate the beauty of true friendship. Funny quotes are great for bringing a bit of humor into our lives. tags: happiness, misattributed-john-lennon, procrastination, time. Some are funnier, others less, judge for yourself. Funny Quotes Quotes tagged as "funny" Showing 1-30 of 8,186 “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin."